Justification

So with the recent wave of tumblr panic I've decided to set this up to archieve all my fandom posts (well mostly my Star Wars mpreg ramblings but whatever).

I'll start with those posts (seeing they're at the biggest risk should tumblr ever suddenly go down) and then move on to my fanfiction oneshots.

If you want to talk to me you can do it here, my tumblr. If you want to read my fanfiction you can do it on my AO3, FF.net (possibly incomplete), tumblr (potentially missing one or two but should't be), or wait for them to come over here... eventually (but not my long runners).

Other then that DAMN this site has a good interface, really easy to set up and work my way around A+ siteing there site.

~ GoddessofRoyalty

(no subject)

So I rewatched Star Wars VII because my mother hadn’t seen it and according to my sister that is a crime and now I’m having more Rey is Han + Luke’s daughter feels.


Han suspects when he sees her. She looks too much like Luke it scares him (she always was more Luke’s child than his, Ben was more his when they were young). Still, he tells himself it is impossible. She died with Luke’s students when his son destroyed everything. Still she starts to remind him of himself and that pains him before because it is like the universe is mocking him: here is what your daughter could have grown into if it hadn’t been for your son, here is what you have lost.

When he finds out her name it just breaks him because she could be his daughter. He still remembers the first time he was told her name, muttered from a tired Luke’s lips as she is passed over to her father. This girl could really be his daughter despite the fact he has no idea how she survived (maybe Ben couldn’t kill her - maybe there really is still good left in his son). He offers her a job because of the chance (hope) she is his daughter. It doesn’t matter if she isn’t really, he’s not going to tell her what he suspects so he can just pretend until the day he dies. It breaks his heart a little when she declines, when she wants to go back to Jakku (what does she want with that place? Why can’t she leave it?).

He’s accepted that she really could be his daughter (Luke’s lighsagber did call to her) when Kylo Ren takes her (his son takes her away from him again).

He doesn’t tell Leia about his suspicions, doesn’t want to hurt her if he is wrong.

He isn’t that angry when Finn tells him that the real reason they are on the planet is to save her. It is no question in his mind whether or not they are leaving the world without her. He is not having his daughter die again without him putting up a damn good fight to stop it.

That doesn’t stop him from dying in a desperate bid to save his son as well (to truly reunite his family to the way it is supposed to be).


Leia knows the second she sees her. She would recognize her niece anywhere. It is a bittersweet feelings though, to gain back the family she was sure she had lost so many years ago in the same day she looses the two she had always hoped would come back to her.

(no subject)

Imagine if Rey was Han + Luke’s kid (blame Fork in the Road for this stuff being on my mind). Ben would be ~10 when she was born. He would be ~10 and Luke’s near constant shadow (during the day - its when he tries to go to sleep at night that the darkness creeps in, is when Snoke tries to pull him away from his family towards his grandfather’s footsteps). Ben who can use the Force and trails after Luke as if he is idol (he is his idol currently).

He is there the whole time as Luke’s stomach swells. Can feel her kicks and (near the end) her consciousness that’s starting to form. Luke allows him these things (encourages them) because it helps Ben learn how to use his powers, show him the blessing they can be. Teaches him how to sense presences and feel out minds (a not fully formed infants mind cannot put up any mental barriers like an adults). So Ben lies next to Luke, his head by the full stomach, content to just feel the presence of the baby. To feel the presence of his sister (technically half-sister and cousin but Luke has always been like a third parent to him and Leia will be a third parent to her and they are as close to full blooded two children can be without actually having the same two parents).

Ben is one of the first to hold her (fifth actually, the order goes Leia, Luke, Chewie, Han then Ben). She is presented to him as his sister (he logically understands she’s not really but emotionally accepts it to be true). He is careful with her but near giddy at the excitement of seeing her after so long of knowing about her, of sensing her and her mind.

Of course he changes his mind once she finds her lungs but he will forgive her that because she is a baby (the screams both help and hinder the darkness creeping in - it can feed on his annoyance of the noise but they also help to draw him back to reality and the light).

Luke takes her with him when he starts training the next generation of Jedi (he’s been working on-and-off towards the goal for a while and the pieces have finally fallen into place). Ben trains and when he isn’t he spends time with Luke and her. He knows he probably shouldn’t stick so close to his uncle, that the other children might accuse Luke of favoritism but he doesn’t care. He is special: he is the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the nephew of Luke Skywalker (the grandson of Anakin Skywalker). If the others are mean to him because of it they are just jealous (jealous of what he is going to achieve one day).

Rey isn’t a particularly needy child so Luke can easily attend to his duties as teacher while also completing those required of him as parent. She grows at a healthy, steady rate. Her first awkward steps from Luke’s arms are to collapse on her half brother’s back while he is reading. He smiles and praises her because that is what good big brothers do. Soon enough she is following him around as he does Luke, a trail of shadows coming of from his uncles light.

The darkness inside him still grows stronger by the day. Around the time Rey starts talking he stops listening and starts plotting the completion of his grandfathers quest. He still plays the part of the good big brother, amazed at how her mind has grown from a barely-there consciousness to an individual person.

Eventually everything comes to a head and he slaughters all of Luke’s other students. He had made his peace with the fact he cannot kill Rey before he started. Justifies it that she may not inherit the powers, that she may take after her father (his father, their shared father). He knows it to be a lie but still pretends. However he also knows he cannot leave her for Luke to find. They will just close in around her, protect her and raise her in a way that will keep her light (learn from the mistakes they made with him) and then she will be a danger to his plan. She will become something that has to be taken care of.

He has to isolate her from his parents and hers (which is only three people in total). Has to isolate her from the chance of learning about the Force. If she doesn’t know about it she cannot use it and if she cannot use it she will not become a threat.

So he abandons her on the desert planet that is only populated by a small group of scavengers. Abandons her and tries to forget her and focus all his energy onto the tasks he has to complete next (she cries for him not to leave her but how knows this is the best choice for both of them).


Many years later he meets her again, fully grown and ready to fight to protect the droid that carries the map to his uncle. Suddenly the plans he’s been working on for years don’t seem as capable of succeeding as they did two days prior.

(He can do a lot of things but cannot kill her. When he sees that all his precautions were for nothing and she is still (scarily) powerful with the Force he wants to teach her. He is supposed to teach her. That is the job of a big brother is it not?)

(no subject)

Imagine if Anakin found out he was pregnant shortly before Padme gave birth (also that he didn’t turn dark side).

The child is Obi Wan’s and at first things seem to turn out fine (Palpatine is revealed for what is truly is and the council is a bit too busy dealing with that to have time to punish a ‘crime’ that ended up pushing things into their favor). Then Padme dies in childbirth.

Anakin and Obi Wan agree to raise the kids (it only makes sense) but there is now worry brightly burning under the glee of another child. It is a vast difference between logically knowing a person can die in childbirth and having just experienced it.

Anakin spends as much time as possible with the twins. He knows they will not remember him if he does die but he is going to do his damnest to make sure they feel so loved that maybe, hopefully, the echo of that will stay with them long after he is gone. When the child inside him has formed enough to have something of a consciousnesses he feeds the bond the same love. Padme had muttered in her dying breaths that the twins were not to be blamed for her death. Anakin is determined the child know that if anything were to happen to him it was not its fault. There is still rage and darkness in him but he will not waste, potentially precious, time on it.

Obi Wan is more removed. He is scared, oh, he is scared but there’s not much he can do about it. It’s not like he’s going to be the one potentially leaving. No, he will be the one that is left. Left to raise three children who will have less than 9 months between them. Padme and Anakin had decided the children would be raised right, but Obi Wan isn’t entirely sure what right means to them. He knows what the Council would want him to do but he’s not so sure it is (actually, he’s rather convinced it’s not) what the other two want (wanted). So he stands back and watches as Anakin spends time with the children, watches as he tries to wrap them with love.

So both of them have this quickly rising panic as they get closer and closer to the due date. They both do everything to try and mask it from everyone and each other but at nights the walls come day. Anakin asks Obi Wan to promise to look after the children if he dies, to promise not to hold it against any of them. The second is an easy promise but the first is harder. At first Obi Wan promises to ensure the children taken care of but that will not satisfy Anakin. He wants them to be a family, to have a family. “A real one,” he explains and Obi Wan is sure Anakin doesn’t even know what that actually means (Padme would know but they can’t ask her anymore). Eventually Obi Wan agrees and Anakin is content. He trusts him not to break his word.


Of course the universe isn’t entirely cruel and everything goes as well as it can. Obi Wan jokingly grumbles that now he has four children to look after instead of three but they both know just how grateful he is not to be left alone with the responsibility of the three.

(no subject)

So I was writing one of the Fork in the Road side stories and had a (hypothetical) thought:

What if Poe found out he was pregnant while on the mission to retrieve the map to Luke. He’s already far enough in (the mission) that he feels he can’t turn around plus the Resistance is running out of time. It’ll probably be fine, he’s nearly done anyway. He isn’t going to risk the chance of finding Luke Skywalker just because of a little morning sickness. Then he gets captured by the First Order. The fear for the child doesn’t really set in until after he has ‘landed’ in Jakku (he was too busy worrying about keeping himself alive). When he finally gets back to the Resistance base he asks the medic if the child is okay. The respond “what child?”

… annnnndd I made myself sad.

Re "A little help"

To the anon that sent me the ask about how everything ended up where it was in “A little help”. I’m sorry I accidentally deleted your message but here is the response (impatience = me angry clicking at random places on the screen when the internet/computer is being slow and well… accidentally clicked on the wrong buttons…):



So Obi Wan finds out he is pregnant and tells Anakin because Anakin is the father. The question on both their lips is “what to do now?” because they are both still needed. Both needed in ways that are not the best for a child to be born.

There is an obvious answer to them both. It is not the same answer.

Anakin wants the child to grow up with the one Padme is already carrying. Obi Wan wants it to be a Jedi.

Neither of them present their option to the other. Both too afraid of how the other will respond.

Palpatine finds out through his own means. He approaches Anakin with a warning (because he “cares about him”): Obi Wan is going to go to the Jedi Council. The Jedi Council will not be happy. They will either force Obi Wan to terminate the pregnancy or take the child so it can be raised by a Jedi. Either way they will ensure Anakin never gets to see it. They will do the same with Padme’s child if they find out about it as well.

Palpatine then offers a solution: he has a ship that cannot be traced by the Jedi Council (don’t ask why Anakin, it is not the time for that), he will happily lend it to Anakin. All Anakin has to do is get Obi Wan + Padme onto it without anyone finding out and they will be safe.

Anakin tricks Obi Wan + Padme onto the ship and traps them. They both realize something more is going on (especially as Anakin won’t tell them anything but that it is for their own good). To Anakin everything is fine. They will stay there until both children are born and then figure out what to do next together (he hopes for Padme to take them both so they can grow up together and still have Anakin + Obi Wan visit them between Jedi duties).

Palpatine gets in his ear again. The Council knows, he says, they know and they are angry. They will not go away even after the children are born. Unless Anakin plans for his family to be on the run for the rest of their lives he has to do something to protect them. Do something to remove the threat to them.

Anakin plays him part in destroying the Jedi & becomes a Sith. Palpatine destroys the Republic. Things end up in much the same place as they do at the end of the prequels (galaxy-political-sphere wise at least).

Anakin doesn’t tell Obi Wan + Padme about what he did but they find out anyway. They are both (rightfully) horrified but can’t do anything about it. They are trapped on the ship (the golden cage) and even if they weren’t there is no way for either of them to fight Anakin in their current conditions (or really do anything to stop him).

So instead they get front row seats to Anakin’s slow decline to the darkside. Watch as he does worse and worse things, as he justifies worse and worse actions.

Eventually things reach the point of “A Little Help”.

(no subject)

So while messing around with a couple Star Wars prequel trilogy mpreg hypotheticals (which will probably never be posted because my brain kept only giving me half-ideas) I’ve come to a conclusion:

If Anakin is the one pregnant generally things turn out better. If Obi Wan is the one pregnant generally things turn out much the same (and if not worse).

(no subject)

Things my mind gives me to make me sad:

Ten year old Ben Solo being handed a baby Rey Skywalker and being told, “This is your baby sister. It’s your job to protect her.”

Twenty years later Kylo Ren fighting Rey (who has no last name) in a forest after he had killed their shared father trying to ignore the words that echo through his head: “This is your baby sister. It’s your job to protect her.”

(no subject)

So a couple of people have asked me to post my thoughts re the clear breaking of the Jedi Code in “Puer in Caelum” but despite my best efforts in subtly convincing them none have actually sent me an ask on here for it but whatever I’ll post it anyway so I can have it linked in the AO3 summary + give it to anyone who asks on the other sites.



But first. Some background. In the version of the universe that this fic occupies (because lets be honest I seem to be unable to write a fic without completely creating a whole new universe for it) the following is the “background”

- mpreg works about the same way as it does in “Fork in the Road” (so explained here: http://goddessofroyalty.tumblr.com/post/137063616941/mpreg-world-building-and-skywalkers-id-lige-to )
- There’s a blood test that can tell if a male (or anyone really) has the ability to fall pregnant which is like 98% effective
- While there are defiantly some worlds that having the test done is rare in all Jedi have it done (because its useful to know when you’re not allowed to have “attachment” but still allowed to have sex)
- Anakin got a positive result
- Obi Wan got a negative. But it was a false negative
- ((dumb comment to follow from that: when they have sex the partner being penetrated is normally (but of course not always) decided by whether or not they have protection on them))


Got that? Okay, good, lets continue on.


So Obi Wan gets pregnant and its the middle of the war and both parents are Jedi.

He finds out fairly early in the pregnancy and manages to not freak the fuck out. He informs Anakin by note which says something along the lines of:

“Anakin, I wanted to tell you in person but couldn’t find the right words. I’m pregnant. I’m going to the Council and will let them decide what I am to do. Don’t make this any harder then it has to be.”

Anakin, of course, freaks the fuck out. Before he can regain logical thought he has already managed to get to the Council room and is basically storming in.

Obi Wan has already told them which Anakin wanted to talk to him BEFORE that and now he has no choice but to accept the councils decision because Obi Wan will & technically it’s Obi Wan’s body they are dealing with.

Yoda ends up deciding it & he says (and I’m paraphrasing here because I’m too exhausted to translate into Yoda-speak): This is a really strange coincidental occurrence (unspoken: because a) A 98% effective test had to give a false negative (when the specific version they use for the Jedi is much more likely to skew to a false positive), 2) Obi Wan ended up sleeping with a guy (which, yeah, isn’t considered anywhere near as taboo as it would be in a universe where male pregnancies weren’t a thing but that doesn’t mean that every guy sleeps with other guys) and 3) despite the fact he has probably been sleeping with a guy (possibly multiple guys) for a while he has only just managed to fall pregnant NOW; is pretty damned unlikely). Maybe this is the will of the force (again - look at the odds stacked against it)? They should probably just let it go & see what happens (I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?)

When the logic is presented that way “but the Code says” sounds like a pretty weak counter-argument. Added onto that the fact the child of Anankin Skywalker + Obi Wan Kenobi would probably be hella powerful means you cannot tell me there isn’t at least one person in the room who knows how long some wars can go on for doing the math for how quickly they’ll be able to justify getting the kid into the battle (and justifying to themselves taking a person - who they really prefer using as a tactician / negotiator anyway - off the front lines for a little).

Of course there is also some being like “FINE.” because they’re at war & sort of need Anakin because despite how annoying he is he is still very useful (and everyone is entirely sure Anakin wants that kid born because its his kid and this is Anakin Skywalker we’re talking about). But after the war is over they will defiantly be reevaluating the situation and are watching you Anakin so don’t fuck up.

They don’t tell the council about the fact Padme is part of the relationship because they “weren’t asked” (and it “didn’t seem important”) so that’s still a secret despite the fact she all but glues herself to Obi Wan’s side for most of the pregnancy.

AND THOSE are my “quick” (this thing ended up longer then I thought it would) thoughts as to why the hell they are not completely in trouble and Puer in Caelum can happen at all.

(no subject)

Me with a Star Wars prequels mpreg verse: Anakin or Obi Wan could get pregnant and really which one will in this fic / headcanon depends on my mood.

Me with a Star Wars prequels omega!Verse: Anakin is an alpha. Anakin. Is. An. Alpha. Obi Wan + Padme are either Betas or Omegas depending on my mood. But Anakin is an Alpha

Some pregnant Obi Wan-verse

Obi Wan: Aren’t you going to ask me who the father is?

The council: Anakin hasn’t disappeared with clear murderous intent and instead is guiltily sulking around. It isn’t hard to guess.

(no subject)

So on the kink meme someone had a prompt where both Finn and Rey were Luke’s kid (different mothers)

and me being the mpreg whore I am instantly went ‘Lando’s Finn’s father’

But I mean I already headcanon Lando and Han being exes (who are possibly still legally married - ramble for another day) so my mind is giving me: a drunken threesome between the three of them where Lando and Han share Luke between them and Luke ends up pregnant from it with twins who have different fathers.

(no subject)

Okay but Padme having to help/support Obi Wan through birth because Anakin can feel his pain through their bond and is basically doubled over from it himself and therefore completely useless.

(no subject)

Oh man but knowing Hux’s backstory image how much it’d hurt if Kylo ran back to his parents after finding out he was pregnant. Because

a) he clearly trusts his family enough to know they will help him in his time of need

b) he doesn’t seem to care that doing so will make his child a bastard

Really clear mental image I had before I feel asleep last night

Kylo Ren wearing nothing but black fabric that starts at his hips (think Leia’s slave outfit minus the top but in black) and a gold bangle wrapped around his bicep nursing a infant who has a tuft of curly black hair.

I made a sad and I'm gonna' make you all suffer with me

When Rey is born Han coos over her that she isn’t going to be Force-sensitive like the rest of the family. No she’s his precious baby girl and isn’t going to get involved in all that “Force nonsense” and is instead going to take after her father.

Luke & Leia both know she’s Force-sensitive possibly will be the strongest in the family. They both decide not to tell him (”it’ll be fine. He’ll realize when she starts floating stuff. For now let him have it”)

Han does realize when Rey starts floating stuff. He doesn’t take it well. He knows both Luke and Leia knew. Knows that they hid it from him. He’s angry that they lied to him. Angry that they let him think for the previous four years that maybe he’d have a kid that’s not involved with the Force. Maybe he’d have a kid that he can have the normal father worries instead of worrying that they’ll get dragged into keeping the fate of the universe in order.

He does what he always does after a particularly rough right with them - he leaves.

After a couple of months he’s finally cooled down enough and turns around to head back home. It’s on his way he receives a message from Leia.

Something’s happened at the new Jedi Temple Luke set up. Their son, Ben, killed all the other students and fled. They don’t know where Rey is but the most logical assumption is that she is among the fallen. And Luke? “He blames himself. He left. I don’t know where too. He says he can’t face anyone until he’s figured it all out.”

Han takes Luke’s cue and turns around again (ignoring Chewie’s demanding questions of what he is doing and why) - if it’s good enough for the ‘Jedi Master’ then it’s good enough for Han Solo. Anyway he doesn’t know if he could live with just Leia. He loves her (he loves her so much) but it’s never really been just them. And he’s gotten used to having a family, used to having two children running around underfoot. He doesn’t know if he can go back to Leia, especially when Leia does not come with Luke (people may call him a pervert for keeping the twins to himself but they have always been a package deal to him - even before he found out they were related).

So he tries to return to being the man he was before he met the twins. Tries to become who he was before he got a family. For years he tries but never finds a way to fill the hole in his heart that the loss of them creates. Not even loosing the Falcon cuts as deep (nor does it make the pain less like he hoped it would).

Then one day he finds her. Finds her with his ship and a map to Luke. She looks like Luke but knows ships like him and Force her name is Rey.

He may not like the Force nonsense but he knows it better then most in the galaxy. He knows when it is trying to tell you something. And it is telling him something. It is giving him his ship, his daughter, a map to Luke, and a reason to go to the Resistance, all tied up in a neat package. It is telling him to go home. Telling him that he can still take his family back.

He believes it. Believes it and dies because he stupidly believes it over his own mind when it comes to his son.

(no subject)

So while I was pokemon go walking I was thinking about Hux & Kylo’s relationship to illegitimacy in light of the new information we have on Huxs character.

(cut because WOW this got long)

Because Hux clearly feels uncomfortable about his status (reasonably so when you consider how his father talked about him) and is trying to prove to the galaxy that he is worthy of his father’s name.

Meanwhile if you told Ren that Han had disowned him his reaction would be
1) Why would I give a shit?
2) Good fucking riddence.

Ren is much more attached to what he inherited from his mother(’s side of the family) and she couldn’t deny him even if she wanted to.

((and if you add my long standing its-basically-my-canon of Rey being Han + Luke’s kid, his family does include at least one illegitimate child (I mean did Han and Leia ever get married?) who was treated the exact same as him the legitimate child (again if he is in fact legitimate)))

So I think he’d end up justifying Huxs hang up with proving himself worthy of Hux Sr’s name (and general discomfort at the fact he is a bastard) to himself as Hux feeling threatened by the fact he needs his father to recognize him in order to keep his inherited title (because his mother has no title worth inheriting).


This all culminates in the idea of Kylo falling pregnant with Huxs child and them arguing about whether or not they now have to get married.

Because to Hux there is no way he’ll allow his child to be a bastard. He will not allow them to be constantly afraid of their father refusing to acknowledge them. And does Kylo really find the idea of Hux as a father so detestable that he’d rather the child carry the title of bastard?

Meanwhile, to Kylo, the idea that the child HAS to be legally recognized as Hux’s is an insult to him. Does Hux not realize the child is already inheriting the legacy of one of the most powerful families in the galaxy? Is the title of descendant of Darth Vader not good enough that he feels the child will somehow be disadvantages if it does not take his name instead? (What does it mean when a man hung up on titles doesn’t want his child to have your title?)

Neither will give the other’s argument much thought and the argument ends up a screaming match with both of them sleeping by themselves that night (or worse - they have the argument late in the pregnancy and Kylo goes into labor from it).



((Bonus Super Duper Problematic Statement Round: Hux says that he’d rather his child be aborted then a bastard; Kylo says if Hux is so desperate to have a child with his name he should find a titleless common girl then marry and impregnate her))

Conversation between an anon on tumblr and me last night

Anon: So like. Thanks to your blog, whenever I see that "he's actually in pain" post now all I can see is a pregnant Kylo who is so desperate to keep himself focused/keep what little grip he has on the force that despite how panicked he is at feeling the life in him faltering since Chewies shot, punches the wound knowing full well he's just making it worse. He figures it's too late anyway, he needs to finish this mission at any cost. Also I am ruined.

 

Me:

Hahahahaha.

I’m sorry??? You’re welcome???

But seriously I’m glad I’m not the only one suffering from those posts because of that idea (and damn you explained it well).
 

((But like imagine if Rey knows. She found out about it in the interrogation and while she isn’t yet trained in the Force once she felt it she couldn’t shake it, felt drawn to the presence and seemed constantly aware of it whenever she was close enough to him to feel it. She feels the life bleed out of it just as he does. Feels it going from a bright presence to nothingness. It finishes fading as the ground breaking separates them and she thinks she sees his face turn from anger into pure uncontrolled grief - but then again it might just be a trick of her eyes))

((Alternatively the fetus perishes the second the shot landed. Kylo is beating it because his body failed to protect them. He failed to protect them. But he keeps fighting because he has to gain something out of the loss. Has to do something to make up for the failure))

((… I’ll see myself out))
 

But seriously. Thank you for the message. I love hearing people’s headcanons / ideas (both happy and sad) - especially when they are partially inspired by my works / ramblings.

Anon: Don't be sorry, I am happily ruined. And omg, Rey knowing. She knows what he stands to lose and her heart hurts for him but it's not like she can just not fight back when he's somehow still coming at her trying to fight. She does her best to just block his attacks and not exacerbate his condition but in the end when she leaves him there bleeding out in the snow she just knows. Your headcanons/works are gold, tbh at this point you have me convinced that Rey as Han/Luke's kid is basically canon

Me:

Okay, I won’t be sorry. We can be happily ruined together. 

It’s strange in a way. The two of them will be the only ones to know two lives were lost in Ren’s decision to plunge the lightsaber through his father. To everyone else it is just Han Solo they have to mourn, but they know there is another. One who didn’t even get a chance of a life to celebrate despite the sadness of their deaths. 

I mean. Rey is Han & Luke’s kid. How could she not be? That’s the actual canon. Fight me if you think otherwise. (I will convert all to this idea - to the point where JJ Abrams will be forced to make Trans!Luke canon as well as this because no-one will accept any other version of events) 

ADDITION - 7/25/16

Different Anon: So, saw you were talkin about Kylo being pregnant when he got shot and promptly decided to keep fucking himself up in order to stay in the game- you have my attention 👀

Me:

Yes, yes I was talking about it and I’m glad I got your attention (because I like people who also like this idea)

But I mean there is no way for a fetus to survive a shot like that with where it hit. Maybe if he could stop and focus all his control of the Force on making sure it survived long enough for them both to get medical attention it could (his grandfather kept himself alive using his powers alone for years) but he cannot let the girl escape especially now he knows the Resistance must have the map to his uncle. So he keeps hitting the wound. Keeps beating it and only making it worse and it pains him. But pain is the source of his power, pain and grief turned into rage. And rage he will. He will cut the traitor down, take the girl back with him to the Supreme Leader. Maybe that will make up for the new user he can feel bleeding out of his body. The Supreme Leader at the very least will be satisfied. Even if Kylo doubts it will resolve any of the pain he feels.